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Literature Text
I remember
trusting you
telling you my secret
you saying you wouldn't tell
I remember
ignoring the signs
should've listened
to the ringing of the bell
I remember
wishing it wasn't true
and placing all my hopes
on coins in a well
I remember
you braking my trust
in the end you only ever saw me
as something you could sell
I remember
it all coming out
don't you know how much
it hurt when I fell
I'll always remember
telling them your secret
it's only fair after all
see you in hell
© 2014 - 2024 LiterateKat
Comments8
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Nicely done, the pome has charter and spirit. however I don't care much for the ending because it presupposes and unintended consequence. The narrative is a classic one of the traitor as told by the betrayed. It has the nature of a curse. However the problem, same as with any curse, is that in order to "see you in hell" presupposes that you are their yourself to preform the viewing. This is the nature of curses, they betray the one who uses them. Which, in a way, vindicates the dammed and dooms the victim.
Beyond this fault: the pome had a definite emotional impact and was worth reading. I can feel the emotion that went into the work, it was well written.
However just incase
I light a candle for peace and protection, leaving the friction and affliction behind me. Sealing the spell, here only to dwell and to none of the readers pass curse or pain of this composition.
Claudite ostium!
Nicely done, the pome has charter and spirit. however I don't care much for the ending because it presupposes and unintended consequence. The narrative is a classic one of the traitor as told by the betrayed. It has the nature of a curse. However the problem, same as with any curse, is that in order to "see you in hell" presupposes that you are their yourself to preform the viewing. This is the nature of curses, they betray the one who uses them. Which, in a way, vindicates the dammed and dooms the victim.
Beyond this fault: the pome had a definite emotional impact and was worth reading. I can feel the emotion that went into the work, it was well written.
However just incase
I light a candle for peace and protection, leaving the friction and affliction behind me. Sealing the spell, here only to dwell and to none of the readers pass curse or pain of this composition. Claudite ostium!